I am afraid of dying. Coward! that was the first thought came into my mind, but where was this notions came into being? I noticed this emotions about four years ago, its crept into my conscience like a snake: quiet and elusive. Prior to this dying outbreak, it’s not like I wanted to die or not afraid of dying, it a thought that I, and all of you know, we will eventually died, but I put it at the back of my mind, never thought much about it. It comes when it comes.
Since four years ago, I started to think of my passing a little more each day, I wanted to remain on this earth a little longer. Why is that? After many hours of prodding and digging within myself, I came to realized that four years ago a great event happen in my life. An angel came into my life, in a bundle of 7 lbs, 8 ounces.
Since that day a paradigm shifted happened. I want to become a better person. I learn and read more to be the confidant for this angel through her life. I want to create something for her to proud of me. I became obsessed with my mortality, worry that I don’t have much time to do all the things that a father does for his children.
I begin to dread death, fear of dying. If being a coward of dying for having a reason to live, then i don’t want to be brave.
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