Kieu, how are you doing em? I hope yours, is better than mine. I feel extremely tired as of late; especially today. I guess, the gloomy sky and no sun for the past few days got into me. On top of all that, things are just not have been going well for me. So much pressure to perform: work, family, health, it is so overwhelming em.
I tried to look at the positive side of things. I tried very hard, doesn’t matter how hard I tried, I feel like I’m just a drop of water, in the vast ocean. I’m not sure, if you know what I mean.
People say that great mind often lonely. I’m not sure if my mind is great, but I do feel I’m alone. Especially now.
I hope this dark sky will eventually move on and the sun will shine again. I think, dealing with people who are ignorance, self centre, and lack of brain power really hurt my well being. I try to help them Kieu. I really do, it like someone is drowning. Whenever I tried to reach out and help them, they hit my arms, they slapped it. They cursed at me. They give me a bad name. I work so hard not to care, but I think it finally got to me.
The other day, I went and met with a person, who supposed to be this great business person, who supposed run a multimillion dollar company. I found it is all a fraud. I feel so, hopeless for him. At the end of our meeting, he asked me for lunch, but I kindly turn it down, as I feel my soul is crushing from within. Where is all the noble, courage, or the honour? it is all gone Kieu. All gone! I feel like I have been cheated, so many time, that it just tax my body and soul away em. Like it drained all the blood from my heart, left to be the living dead. I would love to have a tattoo near my heart someday saying “DO NOT RESUSCITATE.” I don’t want to deal with people anymore.
I don’t know how long I last Kieu. I don’t know how long I can stand up and face the world. I don’t know how to be brave anymore.
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